whenever i feel like writing, i write.
and please, don't be a grammar nazi. it's killing me.
can i consider myself as crazy unstable dramatic person. i watch too many movies and get hung over the movies, feeling and imagining that somehow my life could be like it. i always wish my life to get better. particularly on the part where i always feel lonely. so that loneliness is what drives me to think irrationally, i think. i don't know if there's any other thing that makes me crazy. i feel good when i watch movies, dramas etc but i always feel uncomfortable around people. awkwardness here and there. i cannot be myself at times. and become a total retard on that account. so for that, then, i always wish for a company. a loyal loving company. whom i will not judge by the look, just enough by the heart and neither the company will.
i do have friends, you see. but then, sometimes even with friends, i can feel awkwardness creeping inside my mind retarding the way i communicate. it would be so unnatural. so not me.
for some, they may say, "you know, if you don't find people, find God". i agree with that.
and i tried and still trying, you know, to be a better person, who always remember God and remember the day that i will die. but i don't know now, at some point, i just need support from a living person to teach me the way to God. i just need to feel more affection i may say. sorry if i speak out of term here. alright, just a short note from me this time. quite busy nowadays. wishing that God will protect that someone and guide us to the place called Jannah.
Pray for Gaza, and Aizat, both at war fighting for their future.