Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Teacher That Never Touches A Heart


i have never been touched like this before,
i mean, not in this way,
alright, before this, 
i never understands what my students were doing back home;
when they didn't finish their homework,
when they can't answer my question;
when they can't pass the exam.
 i expressed that wonder to them.

all i know was that they are underprivileged,
born with no silver spoon,
living hardly everyday,
that their parents are working hard everyday to find them money to go to school,
that maybe their parents had no time to look after the children's study,

and i always tell them to study for the sake of their future,
i told them when they got home,
they got to do revisions on subjects,
i told them that don't need any distraction at school as their main purpose is to study.
study diligently so that their future can be guaranteed;
as their parents had no money sufficient enough to send them to private universities,
they need to ensure themselves that their future are bright enough for them to continue life.
but the most actual fact that i never had the chance to know before this was,
that their life are not as easy as i thought.
if before this, i only know that at home, they need not to think about anything else accept studying,
i was wrong!
they need to think about their study AND their family's survival! 
they have to think ways to help their parents out,
they have to ease the burden of their parents,
so they work!
they do any jobs available for them.
anything that can keep their rice cooker filled in.

and this thing happens right in front of my eyes
i met three of my students at bazaar this evening 
and they are selling drinks!
no that's not their stall, a pakcik owns it.
i was shocked to see them but i just remained cool in front of them
and bought 'air chrysanthemum' from their stall while my heart 
was pounding and screaming and crying hard!
 back in the car i almost fell into tears.
no i am not being dramatic.

now i understand
now i am touched
now i realize.
they are not the same like me.
i grew up in a boarding school, i live in hostel and i don't have to think
about anything else except study.
they grew up in a daily school, and they see their parents' hardship everyday
and they need to think about many other things besides study.
they are many other differences that exist between 
my life back then and their life now.

at first i never understand them.
i never tried to understand them.
now i am saying my apologies to them
for so many reasons.

God bless you, me and my students.

Thursday, August 4, 2011

A Different Side of Me

assalamualaikum :)
bulan puasa bulan baik.
so i pun nk jadi org baik.
god bless us.

mlm semalam i termimpi benda yg tak berapa baik.
tapi x baik kalau kite fikir sgt pasal mimpi kn?
tapi, yg lg pelik mimpi tu dtg dlm bulan x de shitan.

smlm jugak ad berita gembira 
my friend texted me:
"I**y S***k tanye pasal youuuu!"
and i was like so happy!
i jumped here and there! 
okay, no more details, bahaye.

so tonight i having a dilemma.
dilemma choosing between anatomy or physiology.
sounds mcm budak poyo sgt kn?
tp nk bwt mcm mne.
i'm going into a med school this september 
and i dont want to be like the dumbest there.
furthermore, i have nothing else to do,
hang out? i'm broke.
work? too late now.
so ddk kat rumah boring 
better for me to open those notes
i received from usm seniors.

last one,
pegi surau best sbb di samping beribadah,
boleh cuci mata!
org kate
"kalau nk carik jodoh carik kat masjid"
and i'm happy to do that :)

Tuesday, August 2, 2011


hyeee :)
just got back from tarawih.
one thing that i remembered time tunggu masuk waktu isyak tadi,
ternampak lah budak-budak kecil lari ke sana ke mari.
maka teringatlah waktu adik-adik dulu, bermain dengan riang,
kesana ke mari berlari-lari tanpa mengisahkan ape org-org lain kata, sebab budak kecil kan?
sape kisah. best nye feeling rase budak kecil.
sekarang rase nak semua benda dgn bebas tapi dah x boleh dah,
kene fikir nanti ape pulak org laen kate. 
"dah besar-besar pun buat bende mcm budak-budak"
"ee, berape umur die? x sedar diri betul"
so basically, all those time dah lepas dah. x boleh ulang balik.
i have to get over it. huhh

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Best of films

Hello there boys n girls!
so recently i had been watching a few movies just to get me fall asleep, 
but truth is i couldn't! the movies i picked are awesomeee!
alright, so the first one is:

okay, i admit that i just watched the full movie yesterday eventho this movie was released in 2001. i know, it's lame right? but thank God finally i watched it, or else i'll die without knowing that this movie is STUPENDOUS! for the record, i almost cry because the storyline of this movie is different and touching and moving and beautiful! i'll love this movie, like, forever :D

a lovely, beautiful, romantic, well-synchronized movie about a girl who were going to her sister's wedding, bringing a hired-man to be her date at the wedding, just to make her ex-boyfriend be jealous of her, of how she continued her life. it turned out that the gentleman she hired was falling into her! oh my! i am so in love with this story!!! i mean, that girl was so stupid and that guy is so gentle and that they made a perfect love story! <3  

 T I T A N I C , T H E  G R E A T E S T
 this one has y favourite since a long time ago and
B E S T :

this one has been my favourite since a long time ago and will always be! Queen Anne will always be my idol! jk! R.I.P my Queen, hehe. conspirational, scandals, dark secrets, romance, promiscuosity, life once at court(palace) of England and this movie is T H E B E S T :)

 now, i love this story because it is complicated, mysterious, mind-challenging, genius, funny, with an engaging storyline, best line of actors and actresses of styles, and i like it most because of UK!! hehehe still can't stop my obsession for it, in fact, i am still dying to go there! (there, my little important secret got out of the bag!) it's okay, i'm sharing this one secret with you guys only yeah :)

so, sampai sini sahaja lah coretan saya buat kali ini, more upcoming movies to be watched later to help me go on with my life after the downs i'd been through.. i'll share with you guys about the downs i'd been through one day eh? dun worry! 
so much till then now, smile :)


Monday, May 16, 2011

Teacher's Day; Their Way

well, for this year, i was celebrating Teacher's Day,
at Sekolah Agama Menengah Unwanus Saadah, where i have been serving there for almost 2 months already! i know, i can't believe it too! 

first and foremost,
i want to wish all my teachers from Tadika Kemas Taman Kemuning, Sekolah Kebangsaan Kanchong Darat, Sekolah Menengah Sains Hulu Selangor, and Centre of Foundation Universiti Teknologi Mara
H A P P Y T E A C H E R ' S D A Y !
maybe they are not reading this, and maybe they won't be reading this, maybe my wishes can't come to the presence of your ear, but don't worry dearest teachers, i always remember you all in my pray (makbul or not, i don't know). hehehe berapi je :D

now i need someone to stab me hundredz time cause i just went thru an album, an album of SEMASHUR teacher's day celebration! know what, they got amy search and his kids of the 'infamous' Akademi Fantasia (jealous tone), came over to that school, and got them play on our Dataran Titiwangsa, eat in our Dewan Makan, wear our school's uniform, our sports gear and i dont know what else! oh myyyy! i am deadly jealous! hehe 

not really actually, just a little bit jealous. only a little.
cause you know why? because i had fun today, first time celebrating teachers day :D
let's get back a few days before today~

Friday: most of students were sitting for their PPT so preparation for Dewan Serindit cant be prepared earlier, and when that happened, the rehearsal cant be carried out earlier. rehearsal was postponed to the following day Saturday (which supposed to be my special holiday, throughout the whole week i can only imagine the word Saturday) and now my Saturday shattered into pieces.
Saturday: Rehearsal started at 9 o'clock in the morning, supervised by only one teacher; ME. i mean, wth? mne cikgu cikgi laen, tanye students yg ad, they said: "sir, Hari Guru students uruskan sendiri....". i replied: "okayh, good for you, but what if anything happen? accidents? takkan i sorg nk hanta you pegi hospital??". quick silence. i sighed. "it's okaylah, mule kan jelah rehearsal ni, and kakak kakak, pelajar perempuan yang hias dewan ni bwt keje elok2". and so the rehearsal went on and on while i was busy preparing my choral speaking team for their performance. finished practising, i went back to Serindit Hall utk tgk2 la hows the preparation. masuk2, hmmm boring nye dewan ni, x de balloons, no drapes, no blink2. so i talked to the student incharge for the hall. "cikgu yang suruh you uruskan dewan ni x bagi ape2 bahan ke utk hias dewan?" "x de pun sir..." so i walked into bilik guru and found kain kale ungu yang sgt panjang n gorjes! hehe i dgn selambenye i ambik je, bagi kat stdnt td, and asked her to hang it dekat lampu across the hall! results! I'M GUHREAT! and then i kuar kejap ke kedai beli kertas warne n bling2, balik skolah, bg kt stdnts tu, results! I'M GUH-REAT-ER!
Sunday: holiday!

sampai skolah, perhimpunan pendek, persembahan choral speaking i, n then main!!! ramai cikgu2 bermain menentang pasukan pelajar! cikgu2 llaki main bola tampar. TERBAEK!. puas ak main bola tampar smpi tembam tgn ni. 3 game! igt nk bg str8t set je, tp kesian, bg la seri dulu.. msuk 3rd game, encik2 semue dah pancit termasuk i hahaha finally menang jgak! (mane x nye, 10 lawan 9)
meanwhile, cikgi2 maen bola jaring and indoor games. my mom pnye team maen batu seremban n her team won! hehehe mak borek borek anak rentek rentek :D
pastu upacara dalam Serindit Hall, sang cikgu songs, cikgu ikrar, so many performances, dikir barat, boria from students, plg touching nasyid :( funny yet interesting videos from 'em! sbg penutup, cikgu2 diberi aiskrim n disuruh makan dgn comel depan students. hehh mmg i la paling larhap! bdak2 gelak ape ak paduli! it's TEACHER'S DAY anyway! it's my day! 

however, too bad i only have a few pictures to be shared with you guys cause the students incharge hasn't upload much pictures yet. so i guess we'll just have to wait ''. till here then gubbye :*

me while teaching English

playing volleyball with style

dikir Barat awesome :)


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Alzheimer Doctor Here!

Oh wish I cud be one 
tell me guys, how can a doctor treat a patient if the doctor himself is having Alzheimer?
i'm not talking about any other doctors out there, 
but i'm talking about me myself!
O God, help me!

This post actually is all about saying my biggest SORRY to this one particular student.
see, he had been planning an add math class with me throughout the whole week, 
but i screwed up! 
the thing is, this was not the first time, but second time already!
i mean, come on, sape yg tak marah if u made the same mistake twice?
thank god he did not get angry, but i did! 

I was angry with myself. grrwww!
 the class supposed to be yesterday's evening, but somehow, i'd forgotten,
he called me few times, but my f* phone was on silent,
last night when i checked my phone, i saw his number,

i called his phone right after that, say my sorry thousand times
sounds stupid when a teacher acting that way to a student,
but who cares, i mean,
if i were the student, i might be thinking,
"cikgu ni nak ajar ke x nak?"
thank God he forgave me.

 here, you can have my pinky promise :)

so, speaking about students, well, 70 people of my students are going to sit 
for their exams starting this monday, and so i wish you all, boys and girls;

huhh, I L O V E M Y S T U D E N T S !


Monday, May 2, 2011

Hello Hello

God i wish i cud write blog as good as them!
after a long break from blogging, finally i'm back! (anybody cares?) yeah, during this break i did read a lot of friends' blogs and now i admit that those bloggers, particularly, my beloved friends, they're AWEsome! 

alright, enough of that. sigh.

now let me tell you what happened to me and where I've been before:
I HAVE BEEN TRAVELING! i took EUROPE of course! jealous much? lol!
in my dreams only of course! owh yes, yes! I've been dreaming a lot these while, which may be the reason I'm not writing i think. been sleeping a lot so i cud dream a lot too. but know what, most of me dreams didn't mention anything close about the thing i'm craving for! pathetic rite? I mean seriously, I couldn't even dream about the thing I want.
here it is:
since may last year until march this year i've been attending lectures, tutorials n labs a lot. like everybody else of my age, i was doing my foundation year, and guess what, lucky me cause i got to do it at UiTM Puncak Alam! omigosh, don't laugh. i know you dont know where in the world would that place be. i mean, me too, at first, i didn't know where it is. i was freaking out, and kept asking myself, where is it?, what is it look like?, why didn't i get PASUM the same place of my brother's?  is it going to be as good as PASUM?
but thank God, He had mercy for me on this one, because, UiTM Puncak Alam is way better than PASUM! there! bravely, i made that understatement! sorry a lil bit offensive i think. but i think it is understandable since everybody loves to praise their own school rite? 

all i can say about UiTM P.Alam now is that i miss her very very much! (and by saying 'her' here, i mean, UiTM, not anyone in particular). i had so much fun during both semesters like, who don't love making new friends? it's like, a new chapter of your life. u made memories there, some were kept in the brain, some were kept in the heart. alright, enough of the touchy-touchy part. moving on to the interesting part of my life there:
i met this person, yadayadayada, i pretended to be cool just so that my blush would not appear, well, at least, not too obvious. THE END. hehe

as for now i'm getting reaally busy with books, essays and school stuffs as i am working as a TEACHER now! (you guys already knew that rite?) well, for some, maybe not. so yes, i am a teacher, an English teacher, unqualified, only having MUET Band 4. teacher, a career that never come across my mind. but, what can i say, don't have much choice living up here in this small town. i really don't like teaching this subject, simply because i'm not good in English. try reading from the top of this post till its end, and count all grammatical mistakes i've made; its going to be a lot! however, despite of my badness in teaching English, i took the advantage of teaching to improve my communication skills. hope so! fingers cross!
i think that's all for now, this is where i stop, i'll make my leave with my farewell at the top!
quoted from: choral speaking! btw, i trained them! hehe :D


About Me

My photo
Banting, Selangor, Malaysia
If I wrote a note to God :)